A Gift for Kindness

 A Gift for Kindness

Romans 12:1-8[1]

We human beings are complicated creatures. Of course that’s true physically, but that’s not what I’m talking about. We’re “complicated” in that we all have what may be called “character assets” and “character flaws.” In part, that’s due to the wide variety of life experiences we’ve had. Some have been wonderful beyond all imagining. Others may have surpassed our worst nightmares. All of it, both “good” and “not so good” has shaped us into the person we are today. Hopefully we can appreciate the person we are today and the way our experiences have shaped us. If we’re really lucky, we have people in our lives who know something of our life experiences, both the “good” and the “not so good,” and express their appreciation for the person we are today.

To some extent, I think you could say that we are all complicated “by design.” The Bible teaches that we are created “in the image of God” (Gen 1:26). Through the ages there have been different ideas about what that means. I would say that being created “in the image of God” refers to our capacity to relate to others with the kind of love that defines God’s very being. We all have a capacity for goodness. Whether we follow that instinct or not is the question! But if we keep reading the book of Genesis, we find that the story also points to the idea that we are all “fallen” creatures. Some people would say that means we’re all equally capable of the worst evil anyone has ever committed. I think that’s a bit harsh, with all due respect to John Calvin. I would say being “fallen” means that we all fall short of being the best version of ourselves at times.

It’s hard to admit that, even and especially to ourselves. We all fall short. We can talk about it as a point of Bible teaching easily enough. But that’s not what I’m talking about when I say it’s hard to “admit.” I mean really acknowledging that “I” fall short. All the time. And that’s true for all of us. We get so used to thinking that our own inner dialogue is “normal” and “true” that we have a hard time stepping outside the stories we tell ourselves. And that can make it hard for us to take a good look at how we’re actually treating people. When we do, we likely find that there’s room for improvement. At least that’s what I find when I’m able to get free enough from my own “self” to see myself and what I’m doing more clearly.

I think this is part of what St. Paul was getting at in our lesson from the book of Romans for today. He tells us that when we grasp the depth of God’s love and the extent of God’s grace, we will respond in humble and joyful worship—with everything we are and all that we do![2] Paul describes what it means to worship God with all of life by saying, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” (Rom. 12:2). I would say it’s fairly easy to recognize that the way things work in this world is broken somehow. But I think it’s much more difficult to recognize how we may not only be taking part in that brokenness. We also may be positively contributing to the broken way things work in this world! That can take more humility than we can muster up sometimes.

One of the not-so-easy-to-swallow truths of the Bible is that when we have a genuine encounter with God, it will lead us to the humble recognition that we share all the same problems that we see in everyone around us. I think that may be another way to talk about what it means to be “fallen” without making guilt the sole driving force in our religion. It’s the simple but never easy willingness to admit that I can fall into the same behaviors that other people do. And when we humbly recognize that, hopefully we can learn to be more patient, more gracious, more forgiving when the people in our lives fall short of their best selves. Just like we do.

But I think another side of this question has to do with the “gifts” that Paul talks about. He directs this toward the idea that we all have roles to play in the “body of Christ.” He says we’re given “gifts” by the Spirit to build up the church as the “body of Christ.” But I’d like to call attention to the fact that we have all been “gifted” by God in another way. I think this relates to our creation in the “image” of God as much as it relates to what God is doing through our gifts to build up the church. I think we can also speak about being created in the “image” of God as a kind of giftedness that we all share, not only with the family of faith, but also with the whole human family. I think we can say because we’re all created in the “image” of God then we’re all “gifted” in that way. I would venture to say that means there’s goodness in everyone you meet. Yes, sometimes that goodness is buried under layers of shame and fear and anger. Sometimes it may have been all but obliterated. But I would say that we are all “gifted” with God’s “image.” That means that, as well as having specific abilities for helping others, we’re all “gifted” with a certain innate goodness that comes from God.

When you look at people from that perspective, it changes the way you relate to them. When we can recognize and honor the goodness in others as well as the “giftedness” they offer us, we’re recognizing and honoring the fact that we all belong to one another in the “body of Christ” (Rom. 12:5). Again, while St. Paul was primarily talking about the church, I think there’s something to be said for applying to the whole human family this idea that we all belong to one another in the “body of Christ.” As beloved children of the one creator God, there is much to point us to the conclusion that we all belong to one another. When that’s the way we see the people around us, I think it becomes difficult not to be able to see the goodness in them. When we can see that goodness, it’s almost unavoidable that we will treat them with kindness and compassion.

This mindset changes the way we live, and in the process, it can change us. It reminds me again of St. Paul talking about letting “God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” I think this is a very practical way in which we can follow that instruction. Changing the way we think leads to a change in the way we act. Paul says that when we let ourselves be transformed into a new person, we’ll be able to discern God’s will for our life. What could be more consistent with the will of God than relating to everyone we meet in a way that expresses a “gift for kindness.” When we look at everyone we encounter as a beloved sister or brother, and recognize that all the goodness God has instilled in us is also present in them, we’re much more likely to find the “gift for kindness,” both in them and in ourselves.

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[1] © 2026 Alan Brehm. A sermon delivered by Rev. Alan Brehm on 8/23/2026 for Hickman Presbyterian Church, Hickman, NE.

[2] I like the way Gene Peterson translates Romans 12:1 in The Message translation: “So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” On this idea that all of life is to be our “worship” of God, cf. Karl Barth, The Epistle to the Romans, 431, where he says, “The problem of ‘ethics’ is … identical with the problem of ‘dogmatics’: Soli Deo Gloria!”

Humble and Kind

 Humble and Kind

James 3:13-4:10[1]

Most of you know that I’m a music fan. I grew up in the 1960’s listening to “Top 40” music on my transistor radio. As a teenager in the 1970’s, I “graduated” to a “stereo,” complete with huge speakers and arguments with my parents about whether the music was too loud. But besides classic rock, Chuck Mangione had come along and made listening to Jazz “cool” again for my generation, so I delved into that. My musical tastes have grown and expanded over the years, and throughout my journey, the people in my life influenced me. When I went off to college, my roommate was into what was then known as “soul” music. Later in my twenties, I also began exploring classical music, something my grandfather had encouraged. When my kids became teenagers, they were listening to a whole new style of music. I actually liked some of it, so I tried to keep up with the best of what was “new” in music. As you know my son Michael is a performing musician working with the Navy Band, and he’s usually cluing me into new Jazz artists. And these days, I’m taking some of my cues from my grandchildren! Perhaps I’m not alone in that.

If you were listening closely, you may have missed one genre of music. I didn’t listen to Country music early on, but I gradually added it to my musical repertoire over the years. One of my favorite songs is actually a Country song: “Humble and Kind,” by Tim McGraw. I first heard it in 2018 at Maxine Verhoeff’s funeral (true story), and I loved it, and I’ve listened to it regularly ever since. I love the simple truths it conveys, principles that I was taught from earliest childhood. Like “Hold the door, say please, say thank you, Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie.” It reflects a way of life that’s simply “good.” “Don’t hold a grudge or a chip” because “Bitterness keeps you from flying” is wisdom we all need to hear. “When you get where you’re goin’, Don’t forget turn back around, Help the next one in line” reminds us that we actually do have a responsibility for how we treat other people.

The refrain of that song, “Always stay humble and kind,” could be a tag line for our scripture reading from James for today. That might seem strange at first. What James advocates is “being humble and wise in everything you do” (Jas 3:13, CEV). There were some in his community of faith who were speaking and acting in ways that were wreaking havoc. We should probably hear everything James says about “wisdom” in this passage with the echo of everything he has said about the power of words to do great damage, as we heard last week.[2] But at the end of the day, I would say that James saw a person’s speech as one of the most obvious displays of their character. And the gist of the “wisdom” James advocates is being “humble and kind.”

It may be challenging for us to make that connection. We associate “wisdom” with the book of Proverbs in the Bible. If you’ve ever read Proverbs, you know that it’s easy to get lost in all the details. But I would say that the “wisdom” that both Proverbs and James promote is about taking faith and making it real in your everyday living. That may not be your first impression after reading the book of Proverbs, because the way it’s organized can be confusing. That’s why I think most of us tend to ignore Proverbs. But if you read it with a note pad by your side and just jot down themes as you come to them, you’ll soon notice a pattern—wisdom is about trusting and honoring God. And there’s a great deal in there about staying humble and kind in the way you treat others. 

We really shouldn’t be surprised that James sounds a lot like the book of Proverbs when he insists that we take our faith and make it real in everyday life. In this respect, James also sounds a lot like his brother, his Lord, and his Savior. In fact, I would say that the portion of Scripture the book of James most resembles besides Proverbs is the “Sermon on the Mount.” That’s because Jesus also valued the wisdom taught by the book of Proverbs. As James says in our lesson for today, it’s a kind of wisdom that “leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine, and sincere” (Jas 3:17, CEV). I don’t think it’s an accident that wisdom and humility and kindness are all connected to one another. Practicing kindness takes humility. That doesn’t mean we make ourselves into doormats for other people to walk all over. Rather I think it points to a basic orientation toward life that enables us to treat other people with respect.

Unfortunately, that kind of respect and humility seems to be sorely lacking these days. In these days of dividing lines, bitterness and rage, and public shootings, at the very least we see ourselves as better than those “on the other side.” At the worst, we see “them” as enemies. James warns us about that in our lesson as well: he says, “Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things” (Jas 3:16, CEV). I like Gene Peterson’s translation: “Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats” (Jas. 3:16, The Message)! The opposite of living by the wisdom of “always stay humble and kind” is an arrogance leads to things falling apart and has everyone at each other’s throats!

That kind of prideful arrogance is never good for anyone. Later in our lesson for today, James quotes from Proverbs: “God opposes everyone who is proud, but he blesses all who are humble with undeserved grace” (Jas 4:6 CEV). The language of the original verse in Proverbs is even stronger: “The Lord mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble” (Prov 3:34, NLT). That brings us back to the importance of humility as a foundation for life. Practicing kindness means we have to give something of ourselves to others. We can’t do that if we’re stuck in pride or arrogance. Arrogance is a essentially mindset that withholds basic respect from people we think are “beneath” us. Only through humility can we see others as people whom God loves as much as he loves us. And only when we can see them in that way can we give them the gift of kindness.

“Always stay humble and kind.” I don’t know whether Tim McGraw tries to live that way in real life.[3] But I love the sentiment of the song. I think the life of simple goodness it portrays lines up with our Scripture lesson from James for today. We can only be kind if we’re humble enough to treat people with respect and courtesy. To do that, we have to recognize that we fall short just as much as anyone else. We have to let go of the need to “win,” whether that means being right or getting our own way or seeing ourselves as better than others. Only when we practice this kind of humility can we respect other people enough to give them the kindness that has defined godly wisdom from the very beginning.

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[1] © 2024 Alan Brehm. A sermon delivered by Rev. Alan Brehm PhD on 9/22/2024 for Hickman Presbyterian Church, Hickman, NE.

[2] Cf. Robert W. Wall, Community of the Wise, 186: “James’s description of false wisdom continues in accordance with the moral calculus that bad ideas are embodied in antisocial actions: garbage in, garbage out. If the words of an unwise teacher, who lacks understanding of the word of God, are fueled and formed by ‘jealousy and rivalry,’ then ‘chaos and every vile practice’ will surely result among those who follow his [sic] lead.” By contrast (ibid., 190), “Words that are ‘full of mercy’ are consistent with the merciful God; they are words of a tamed tongue which have the power to edify and guide a congregation to wholeness.”

[3] The author of the lyrics, Lori McKenna, who won a Grammy Award in 2017 for Best Country Song for “Humble and Kind,” recounts that she wrote it for her children as a way of reminding them of all the things she and her husband wanted them to remember. See the interview with her by Dave Paulson in The Nashville Tennessean, “Story Behind the Song: Tim McGraw’s ‘Humble and Kind’”, Jan 25, 2024, accessed at https://www.tennessean.com/story/entertainment/music/story-behind-the-song/2021/01/25/story-behind-song-tim-mcgraws-humble-and-kind/4228236001/ .

My Religion is Kindness

 My Religion is Kindness

Matthew 9:9-13[1]

Even though most churches were full when I was growing up in the 1960’s and 1970’s, I wouldn’t say it was a time when people were particularly devoted to following Jesus. Because of that a lot of people were jaded by the gap between the words people were saying in church and the lives they were living outside the sanctuary. Without the “walk” to back it up, many saw all the religious “talk” as just a lot of words that didn’t mean much. Instead, a lot of the people I grew up with decided to find their lives in slogans like “if it feels good, do it.” When I look at where some of those people are today, I must confess I’m more than a little surprised. Some of the people who “partied” the hardest back then have turned into some of the most staunchly religious people today. But the irony is that they don’t seem to be any more committed to actually following Jesus now than they were back in the day. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that a whole new generation is turning away from church. Or that a major factor in their leaving is because they believe that the church is out of step with one of their most important values: treating all people with kindness and respect.[2]  

You’d think that would be something that Christian churches would excel at. As our lesson from the Gospel of Matthew for today reminds us, Jesus modeled a life of treating all people with kindness, compassion, and dignity. Here Jesus demonstrates that fundamental orientation of his life by calling “Matthew,” a man who was a tax collector. As I’ve mentioned before, tax collectors in Jewish society were hated by the people in general and despised by the religious leaders. In fact, the phrase, “tax collectors and sinners” in that day was one that pretty much included everyone who was viewed as immoral, dishonest, tainted, or in any way “undesirable.” And there Jesus was, calling this man to be one of his hand-picked apprentices in carrying out the ministry of the kingdom of God!

That created a dilemma for the “religious” people of his day. On the one hand, his proclamation of God’s grace, of God’s kingdom of peace and freedom, and of the realization of God’s promise to show them mercy must have sounded like the best news they’d ever heard. It excited them and inspired them. Kind of like us. But on the other hand, the fact that he offered all that to the destitute, the undesirables, the down-and-out, and the sinners alongside the “religious” people raised serious objections. They’d been taught that God blesses those who obey and punishes those who disobey. Like us they’d probably spent a lifetime of trying to live up to God’s expectations. And Jesus told them that the reward they expected was going to be handed to those who never even expended one iota of effort to gain it! That offended them. Kind of like us!

That’s the backdrop for Jesus’ shocking statement, “Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’” (Mt 9:13). Jesus didn’t just pull that out of thin air. He was quoting Scripture. Specifically, Hosea 6:6. The irony is that he was talking to the Jewish religious leaders, who spent all their time studying Scripture! But Jesus told them that in spite of their efforts they had missed the point: putting the mercy they had received from God into practice in the way they treated others—all others.

They would have known Hosea 6:6. They would have also known that in the Hebrew Bible, the word translated “mercy” was a “loaded” word. It referred to both God’s unfailing love and also the abiding commitment to love that God’s love calls forth on the part of those who receive it. And they would have known that Scripture defined that commitment in terms of loving God “with all your heart” (Dt 6:5) and loving “your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18). Unfortunately, they had convinced themselves that they only “had” to put that love into practice with their Jewish neighbors. And in fact, they only had to put that love into practice with some of their Jewish neighbors. But in the Old Testament, “mercy” is the equivalent of “love.” It’s a fundamental life orientation toward treating all people with kindness, compassion, and dignity. In the Scripture passage from Hosea 6:6 that Jesus called on to answer his critics for the fact that he extended kindness even to “tax collectors and sinners,” “mercy” is the equivalent of “love.” The word in the Greek New Testament that we’re used to hearing for that kind of approach to other people is “agape.” It’s the love that Jesus showed for all of us by dying on the cross!

All of this makes me wonder what it says about the church in this day and time that a growing number of young people are leaving, and one of the main reasons they give is the fact that they find the church to be lacking in the one quality that Jesus said would demonstrate that we’re his disciples (Jn 13:35). There’s so much division going on these days, so much disagreement, so much conflict. People are going take different stands on social and political issues, hopefully respectfully and with civility. But when it comes to how we treat people, there is no “alternative” for those of us who claim to follow Jesus. There is only one option: we who have received the unconditional love God has shown by claiming us forever as his beloved children are commanded by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to show that unconditional love to everyone we meet.

Many of you may know that the Dalai Lama is famous for saying “My religion is kindness.” He’s said it many times and in many places. I have a lot of respect for the Dalai Lama, but I find it sad to think that many young people in our day may be more familiar with the Dalai Lama’s devotion to kindness than they are with Jesus’ devotion to kindness. If that’s the case, I’m afraid we’re responsible. Jesus lived out the command to “love your neighbor as yourself” by showing kindness, compassion, and respect for everyone he encountered. His “religion” was kindness just as much as the Dalai Lama’s. Perhaps more so. Not only in his words, but also by the way he treated people, he offered God’s mercy to the destitute, the undesirables, the down-and-out, and the sinners—as well as the “religious” people.

None of this is anything you haven’t heard before. None of this is anything you haven’t heard from me before. But I think we have to go beyond just talking about it. I think we have to take a hard look at ourselves to figure what’s missing in our efforts to put our faith into practice. More than that, there’s something to be said for living a life that’s consistent with what we say we believe. At least as consistent as possible for flawed and fallible human beings. That makes it possible for us to look ourselves in the mirror and know that, at the end of the day, we’ve done our best. All of us who have lived much of life are going to have some regrets. The reality is that we all fall short. But when we can say with the Apostle Paul that our “conscience is clear” before God (1 Cor 4:4), it frees us to move past our hurts and fears and the petty and sometimes selfish ways of living our hurts and fears can bring out in us. It frees us to love all our neighbors: our neighbors who don’t look like us, think like us, love like us, speak like us, pray like us, or vote like us. It frees us to make kindness our religion—not just as a slogan, but for real.

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[1] © 2023 Alan Brehm. A sermon delivered by Rev. Alan Brehm PhD on 6/11/2023 for Hickman Presbyterian Church, Hickman, NE.

[2] Cf. “Exodus: Why Americans are Leaving Religion—and Why They’re Unlikely to Come Back,” Public Religion Research Institute, 22 September 2016. Accessed at https://www.prri.org/research/prri-rns-poll-nones-atheist-leaving-religion/ .