Practicing Love in Community
Matthew 1:18-25; 1 Peter 2:21-23[1]
On this fourth Sunday of Advent, we celebrate the love that
we have received through Jesus Christ. We just sang it together: “Love is the
gift of Christmas.” As our Gospel lesson puts it, Jesus was born to be the one
to “save us from our sins,” and to be “God-who-is-with-us” (Mt 1:21, 23). That’s
what “Immanuel” means: “God-who-is-with-us.” That shouldn’t come as a surprise
to us. We know that the heart of our faith is about sharing God’s love with
others. We know that Jesus came to embody that love in a way that would empower
us to put that love into practice. The idea isn’t a new one. And it wasn’t even
a new one for Jesus. In our faith tradition, Moses taught it three thousand
years ago: “you shall love your neighbor as yourselves” (Lev. 19:18).
Throughout the centuries there have been many who have taught the practice of
compassion. What was new was the way Jesus embodied it, not just as a human
being, but as the one who is “God with us.” He put God’s love for us on display
in the way he loved all those he encountered, both friends and so-called “enemies.”
Yes, Jesus embodied love even for his so-called “enemies.”
Perhaps the most dramatic way he did that was by praying from the cross,
“Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Lk 23:34). But
he also embodied it by never giving up on anyone, even his “enemies.” And he
taught us to do the same. Others have also taught that. They taught their
followers to practice compassion for all people and embodied that compassion
even for those who could have been considered their “enemies.” However, I
believe it’s true that Jesus was the first to say explicitly, “you shall love
your enemies” (Mt 5:43-44). It’s probably an understatement to say that’s not
an easy path to take. For Jesus, loving even his “enemies” meant giving up his
life on the cross. Because showing God’s love even for one’s “enemies” cuts
against the grain of everything we do by instinct.
As we continue to make our journey through Advent to the
celebration of Christmas with Henri Nouwen as our guide, I think we might find
his ideas challenging on this day. He described the kind of love Jesus embodied
by saying, “Whenever, contrary to the world’s vindictiveness, we love our
enemy, we exhibit something of the perfect love of God, whose will is to bring
all human beings together as children of one Father. Whenever we forgive
instead of getting angry at one another, bless instead of cursing one another,
tend one another’s wounds instead of rubbing salt into them, hearten instead of
discouraging one another, give hope instead of driving one another to despair,
hug instead of harassing one another, welcome instead of cold-shouldering one
another, thank instead of criticizing one another, praise instead of maligning
one another… in short, whenever we opt for and not against one another, we
make God’s unconditional love visible; we are diminishing violence and giving
birth to a new community.”
Nouwen gets uncomfortably specific about what it means to
follow Jesus by loving our “enemies.” It means forgiving instead of holding
onto anger. It means healing wounds instead of rubbing salt into them. It means
hugging instead of harassing. These are all incredibly counterintuitive. When
someone hurts us, we instinctively want to protect ourselves. We do that with
anger. When we rub salt in the wounds of someone who has wounded us, we’re
protecting ourselves. When we criticize and turn a cold shoulder and speak of
them in hurtful and harmful ways, we’re protecting ourselves. But, following
Jesus, Nouwen invites us to take a different path. He invites us to “opt for
and not against one another,” to choose to be on the side of those whom we
perceive to be against us. It’s an astounding thing. And he says that when we
make that choice, we are doing something that’s nothing short of miraculous.
We’re making “God’s unconditional love visible; we are diminishing violence and
giving birth to a new community.”
I think we could be forgiven for thinking that this is all
far too much to expect from an ordinary human being. But also I think Nouwen is
onto something important here. The love that we celebrate at Christmas is a
wonderful gift to us, and we enjoy it. But it’s not just about making ourselves
feel better. The love we celebrate at Christmas calls us to take the love that
we’ve received from God and turn around and put it into practice for all those
around us. Both “friends” and so-called “enemies.” That’s what Jesus did. He
didn’t do that to prove that he was so much better than us. He did that to leave
us “an example, so that you should follow in his steps” (1 Pet 2:21). And the
way he did that was “When he was insulted, he did not reply with insults. When
he suffered, he did not threaten revenge” (1 Pet 2:23, CEB).
Perhaps we should all take a moment to let that sink in.
When Jesus was insulted, he did not reply with insults. When he suffered, he
did not threaten revenge. To borrow Nouwen’s words, when Jesus was met with
anger and curses, he did not respond in kind. Instead, he forgave: “Father,
forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing”! And he did that to leave
us an example that we should follow in his steps. When Jesus was not only
maligned but also falsely accused of the worst they could throw at him, he did
not respond with hurtful and harmful accusations in reply. And he did that to
leave us an example that we should follow in his steps. When Jesus was
subjected to violence, when he was beaten and spat upon and crucified, he did
not threaten to get even. He forgave those who were literally stripping his
life away. And he did that to leave us an example that we should follow in his
steps.
When you think about it that literally, I don’t think we
should be surprised if we’re wondering whether Jesus really wanted us to follow
his example and practice love like that. It’s understandable. That’s a hard
thing to ask, for us to follow that path. But I would say the answer to the
question is, “yes.” Yes, indeed. Most definitely. Jesus was “making God’s
unconditional love” visible in every way possible, not only by healing the sick
and caring for those who were suffering, but also and most particularly by
loving his so-called “enemies” enough to forgive them. Enough to give his life
for them. That’s a high standard for love. Perhaps the highest the human family
has ever seen.
In fact, it’s such a high standard we may want to let
ourselves off the hook. After all, can one really expect all this from an
ordinary human being? We assume that Jesus loved even his “enemies” because he
was much more than an ordinary human being. And we assume that no one would
ever expect ordinary human beings like us to live up to such a high standard.
But that phrase from Scripture in 1 Peter reminds us that he did all that he
did precisely to leave us an example that we should follow in his steps. Yes, I
believe Jesus expects us as those who claim to trust in him to literally follow
his example and practice love like that toward everyone, even and especially
toward those we may consider “enemies.” In fact, I would say that if we truly grasp
the extent of God’s unconditional love for us, and the extent to which Jesus
calls us to share that same love with everyone, then we really cannot look at
anyone as an “enemy.”
When Jesus said, “you shall love your enemies,” he was
talking about people who could literally come and take everything away from you
by force, including your life. Most of us don’t have to learn to love “enemies”
like that. We don’t have to fear that someone will come and invade our home,
drag us out, and take our lives away from us. We find it hard enough just to
love the people who spread false rumors behind our backs. Or those who rub salt
in our wounds or turn a cold shoulder to us instead of standing beside us when
we’re struggling. But if that’s where we perceive our “enemies” to be, then
that’s where we can begin. We can begin to transform every so-called “enemy”
into a friend by extending to them the same unconditional love God has given each
one of us in Jesus Christ. When we do that, as Henri Nouwen said, we are not
only “making God’s unconditional love visible,” but we’re also “giving birth to
a new community.” Think of it: a community where even “enemies” are turned into
friends. A community where we don’t even look at anyone as an “enemy,” rather
we consider all to be friends. A community where we extend to one another the
same unconditional love and acceptance God has given to us. That’s a whole new kind
of community. That’s what the love we celebrate at Christmas is about: creating
a whole new kind of community where people turn even so-called “enemies” into
friends, just like Jesus did.
[1] © Alan Brehm 2025. A sermon delivered by Rev. Alan Brehm, PhD on 12/21/2025 for
Hickman Presbyterian Church, Hickman, NE.
[2] Henri Nouwen, Letters to Marc About Jesus, 55.
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