Worthy
1 Corinthians 15:1-11[1]
The question of our personal “worthiness” can
be a thorny one. Some of us may feel that we’re unworthy at the very core of
our being. We may think we don’t even deserve to be here. Others may believe
without a doubt that they are deserving, worthy of every opportunity,
achievement, and accolade they’ve ever received. And perhaps more! It can be
tricky navigating the middle ground between a basic sense of shame over who we
are and a fundamental arrogance. Many of us have worked hard throughout our
lives, and we have a well-earned right to be appropriately proud of our
accomplishments. Others of us have worked hard and have seen all they hoped for
slip through their fingers. The question of our “worthiness” as individuals is
one that is complicated and fraught with pitfalls. But it’s one that we all
must face.
Our scripture lesson from 1 Corinthians for
today addresses this question from the perspective St. Paul’s life story. The
lesson tells us part of the story of Paul’s calling to serve as an Apostle,
proclaiming the good news of Jesus. We might find it strange to hear Paul
talking about how he was the “least” of the Apostles, and didn’t even “deserve”
to be called an Apostle. When you take a close look at what Paul says about
himself in his letters, two things emerge.[2] First, he confessed that all he was and all he was doing was the result of a
life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. When he met the risen and living
Lord Jesus on the road to Damascus, it transformed his whole life. Using the
language of our lesson, Paul could say that all that he was and all that he was
doing was the result of God’s grace at work in and through him. That’s what
made Paul’s zeal for following the way of Judaism give way to his conviction
that Jesus Christ had chosen him to serve the body of Christ—from “before the
foundation of the world” (Eph 1:4)!
The other thing that Paul says about himself
is that he was unworthy to be an Apostle. I think a part of this came from the
fact that he was always very consciously aware of his failures and
shortcomings. Several times he expressed his feeling that, because he had
persecuted the church before being called by Jesus, he wasn’t fit to serve as
an Apostle. And this wasn’t just initial reluctance on his part. Even toward
the end of his life, Paul continued to see himself as unfit to be an Apostle
because he had previously “blasphemed the name of Christ” (1 Tim 1:13-15, NLT).
But I think the other side of this sense of “unworthiness” on Paul’s part was
because he knew in the deepest part of his heart, that “whatever I am now, it
is all because God poured out his grace on me” (1 Cor 15:10, NLT). And
he knew two things about God’s grace at the same time: there was nothing he
could ever do to deserve God’s grace, and he would never have to try to deserve
God’s grace. It was all a gift!
I think this applies to the issue I raised
last week: how we find the strength and the faith to continue serving others in
a challenging time. For myself, I must confess that, like Paul I don’t think I
deserve the opportunities I’ve been given. But, like Paul I’m also grateful
because I believe it’s all been through God’s grace. Many of the people I grew
up with wouldn’t be surprised that I’ve spent most of my life working in
ministry. They would consider it a natural outcome of who I am. But it was
never something that I would have thought. I came from a nowhere town and a
no-name family. Although I knew I was good at school, I never thought of myself
as being all that special.
I “volunteered” for ministry at the ripe old
age of 17. I’ve always wondered whether God really wanted me or he just “had”
to take me because I stepped forward. And, truth be told, I never thought I had
what it took to be a pastor. I was quite comfortable in the classroom as a
Seminary professor. It was an environment that I knew well, and it was a task
that I was confident I had the skills and expertise to carry out. Working as a
pastor felt a bit too risky for me. To me it seemed like starting a business from
scratch, and I wasn’t sure I wanted go out on a limb like that. In fact, when I
was 40 I stepped away from ministry for several years. I tried to move into a
parallel career, but only made it more clear to me that serving the body of
Christ was where I belong.
When it comes right down to it, however, I
would have to say with Paul, “whatever I am now, it is all because God poured
out his grace on me.” Like Paul, I have certain gifts and abilities that God
has used in my service to the body of Christ. And like Paul I’ve worked
diligently to serve to the best of my ability for decades, continuing to
“sharpen the saw” to be as effective as I can at what I do. But I would also
confess with Paul that “it was not I but God who was [and still is] working
through me by his grace.” Like Paul, I would say that, despite my reluctance
about whether I am worthy to serve the body of Christ, I believe God chose me
from “before the foundation of the world.” God’s grace led me down the path of
life that has brought me to this place and time. And, like Paul, “I’m not about
to let his grace go to waste.”
I bring this up because I think there are
others who may find themselves at places in life where they never thought they
would be. And I think most of us would agree that we could never have imagined
we would be facing the issues we are today. You may know that I’m a “Lord of the
Rings” fan. Throughout the years, I’ve found myself agreeing with Frodo Baggins
when, while talking about the rise of evil, he says to Gandalf the wizard, “I
wish it need not have happened in my time.” To which Gandalf replies, “So
do I … and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to
decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”[3] The truth is that none of us gets to choose the backdrop against which we live
our lives. We don’t always get to choose the direction our lives take in the
circumstances we face. All we get to choose is how we will live our lives right
where we are.
Again, if we’re trying to figure out how to
keep on serving in circumstances that make it all seem futile, I think we can
take our cue from St. Paul. What I didn’t say above is that he faced opposition
and criticism of his ministry from the very first. Not just from “enemies”
outside the church. Some of the believers in churches he had founded, some of
the believers at Corinth, thought that Paul was unworthy to be an Apostle of
Jesus Christ. In the face of that fierce opposition, Paul responded in a couple
of ways. First, he admitted that he wasn’t worthy in and of himself to
represent Jesus Christ. I think it may be healthy to follow his lead in that
respect. Not one of us, and especially not me, deserves to serve the body of
Christ in the ways we have open to us. But secondly, Paul confessed that all
that he was and all that he did was due to God’s grace poured out in his life.
I think each and every one of us can
make the same humble confession today. We may not understand why we have been
placed in this particular time and this particular situation. But we can trust
that God will use our gifts and abilities right where we are. And we can draw
encouragement from the community of faith that supports us as we seek to use
our gifts and abilities where we are. But at the end of the day, God’s grace
has called us, God’s grace has brought us to this place, and God’s grace is
working in and through us. And that’s all the worthiness we need!
[1] ©2025 Alan Brehm. A sermon delivered by Rev. Alan Brehm PhD on 2/9/2025 for
Hickman Presbyterian Church, Hickman, NE.
[2] Cf. Karl Barth, Church Dogmatics, III.1.4, 196-211, where he surveys the story
of Paul’s change of life from zeal for Judaism to proclaiming Jesus and serving
the body of Christ as a prime example of the interaction between the knowledge and
ignorance of “the accomplished alteration of the whole world situation” by God
through Jesus Christ. Barth argues that this tension between knowledge and
ignorance can arise only “to move to it’s overcoming” because “God is not God
in vain” (ibid., 191). Of Saul/Paul’s conversion, he says (ibid.,
202), “It was in the power of the self-witness of Jesus Christ that he passed
from ignorance to knowledge. Jesus Himself met him before Damascus. … . This is
the decisive element in the story.”
[3] J.
R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring,
Houghton, Mifflin, Harcourt, 2004, p. 51
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